Writing “When Love Doesn’t Start At Home” was a great healing process for me. Only when I put my life down on paper and concentrated on one chapter of my life at a time, did I see through the fog. Hindsight is always good. My wife, Jan, was such a great help, as she has always been.
So many things came flashing back at me. Even as I write this blog, new memories pop up. Living life, one sees, an instance at a time as we live them. When the story of your life is completed in a book one sees the universe of your life.
By writing this book I realized the tremendous pressure that had been put on my life through the lack of love from my parents, which created anger, panic attacks and insecurity. I had been put at a great disadvantage, I was not taught to love.
When it came time to be a husband and a father I had no instructions on how to fill these positions. I was ignorant and did not know I was ignorant.
God sent me someone who is the essence of love, my wife, Jan. Her patience matches that of an angel. Jan came from a family of love and had good examples of family from her mother and father. It was not easy for her, I am a very stubborn man, but she persevered.
When I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, He taught me how to forgive. When, after all the years, I forgave my parents, my life got better each day. These improvements were not overnight; they occurred over years and are still happening.
Two of the good traits that my parents gave me were to be a fighter and a never give up attitude. These two traits have kept me in the game of life.
The most important thing I would like people to get from this book is that God did not create victims. He created strong people, who with His help can overcome any obstacle put in their lives.
Being a victim is a state of mind that is so damaging. We are what we make ourselves. So many times in my life negative things happened that shot me in another direction, which turned out so good.
The only things that matter in life are God, family and friends. The rest of it is crap that we have to go through.